Posted by
Jon's Place on Saturday, December 08, 2007 4:43:04 PM
While out and about I came across a curious little rendezvous, curious because I hadn’t been aware that the newest thing going is one of the older, which is to say arcane, things going that we humans have employed to alleviate our bordom.
It wasn’t so long ago that when things became less than optimal, say a drought, or crops failing or some such giving rise to restless imagination that the local populace seeing signs anywhere and everywhere, and desirious to alleviate their ennui, would take great effort to propitiate the gods that were surely offended. Inevitably, it seems, this meant sharpening the long knives, and depending on the custom, the previously favored king, now the out of favor king, and retinue, would be offered up. Now it seems that Kings didn’t look favorably on these customs, and in league with the local shaman revised the celebration, whereby the axe was bestowed on neighboring tribes, or if too problematic, some nubile virgins were rounded up and given the privilege of appeasing some god or another by way of a sharp point, or if said tribe was into pyrotechnics, were the center piece of a light show. For a time, as you can well imagine, this greatly appeased the tribal ennui, if not the sundry gods, who though, it seems, were a rather fickle and not reliably sentimental sort, and might or might not end a draught, or for that matter abate too much rain. Now by and by the custom got musty and succeeding generations looking upon their elders as elder fogies took a pass on the passé and let said, pass into dim reaches of myth. Where as you might conjecture, said gods were remorseful on the occasion of being put out to pasture.
Note: as in all things there were of course unintended benefits; for instance, our own time, roughly, benefitted with endless fodder for Christopher Lee films [http://www.houseofhorrors.com/hammer.htm]. Truly unfortunate, of course, he was unable to benefit from live testimonials from those in leading roles, but still...
Anyway, you can imagine my peaked curiosity when I heard finely cloaked sods were gathering in a place called Bali (a place not unaccustomed to the afore mentioned custom not so long ago--or some such variation of same, anyway) for the expressed purpose of propitiating this new god, lately unknown to the pantheon of gods, Global Warming. Proving yet again that everything that is old will be new again, the new priestly diviners, shaman, pick your epithet, like those of old see signs everywhere (600 such apoplectic signs at latest count) that the god Global Warming is not, shall we say, happy.[http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2007/11/everything_is_caused_by_global.html]
Now these sods of the earthly priesthood being originally unoriginal, led by the lead sod Al Gore, have taken a page out of the old sacrificial play book, but with a twist. Whereas the elders of uncivilized society thought that though the gods deserved propitiation, the economic impact should be no more than was absolutely necessary. Thus a king, or virgin, or other was deemed more than enough. But that simply will not do for our sodden priests. Why sacrifice a mere few when you can sacrifice thousands or even millions. That is no less than thousands or perhaps millions, they deem, should unreasonably be enough propitiation for anybody, even the sod, Global Warming [http://www.financialpost.com/story-printer.html?id=eec03f41-5fa7-41b9-b179-614151eaf15e].
Of course there is a logistical dynamic, but these sods are nothing if not disingenuous. Their fantasm is to take half of everything from everybody and thereby allow the sacrifice to take care of itself, with the added benefit of enormous savings on profane alters and knives, while conveniently designating the whole earth an alter.
So now I and you await with perhaps abated breath for the details to arrive in their most profane of bulls.